Lay Accross My Big BRAAAAAASSSSSSS Bed - Our Trip to Goa

First off, let me explain the title. We went to this restaurant called Stone House and there was this singer who was taking requests and singing crappy romance songs really slow and poorly and in an amusing way due to his accent. When he played "Lay Lady Lay" by Bob Dylan, a song I really like, he butchered it and put all the emphasis on the word "brass". It was painful. Anyways.

Goa is this state in west India that used to be run by the Portuguese until after Indian Independence and is this bizzaro beach state that feels a bit like Santa Cruz and is famous for being a super party spot. At least in the 90's or at least during peak seasons. Unfortunately for Felix and I, it's 2010, not peak season, and I had some stomach issues the whole time.

We stayed in this cool house called Villa Ludovici. Our hosts were this Indian/Portuguese family (their last name was Gonzalez!) and they were suuuuper nice. They had 3 dogs, one named Rex who was skittish, Shalom (named by a previous guest who was Israeli), and Goldy who was fat and incredibly friendly. There was also this dude there who was Indian and had lived in the UK for 18 years and was now just teaching surfing and kayaking in Florida. In a random note, one of the guests was from Moscow and moved to England, specifically Hastings where the folks from Felix's mom's side of the family reside. I've been there and it's a raaaaandom ass place for a Russian to go live.

Breakfast At Villa Ludovici:

Goldy, The House's Dog:

Speaking of Russians, Goa is fucking full of them. I guess they just come here to do what old russian people do which is sit in the sun, get gross leathery tan, and drink. My dad said they're probably all "new russians" which means new money mobsters. I wouldn't fuck with them and neither should you. One of their wives was def doing topless sunbathing and I kid you not, they were over a foot apart. It was really weird. In other news the restaurants there all have russian menus and since russian (and western) beach wear is much skimpier than indian women who pretty much just wear the same saris they do everywhere, indian dudes just sort of stand on the beach and stare creepily. 

Dudes be starin:

We stayed in the town of Candolim whose beach features beer shack after beer shack after beer shack. It would have been a great place to get sloshed and sit at the beach but my stomach wasn't having it. In an amusing note, the shacks have bathrooms which are just four walls, no roof, and sort of a toilet. It sounds weird but there's something definitely soothing about hearing the ocean sounds while you do your business. Candolim's greatest feature is the River Princess. I giant fucking ore liner boat that got stuck 10 years ago about 100ft off shore. It's enormous and if you like irony and are sarcastic like Felix and I you will find it awesome. 
Otherwise it's a huge eyesore and has actually effected the erosion patterns on the coast so parts of the beach have these 40-60 ft long burlap tubes of sand labeled "geotubes" to shore up the shore. Apparently the Goan government dragged it's feet to take it out and tried for the first time in 2005. By then the boat was too rusty to drag out and now it's stuck. Indian judges have declared it a state disaster and no real hope is in sight. It can't be good for the environment.

It says" DMD Moscow":

In another amusing story we went to this popular beach called Vagator and sat down for a beer and these two ladies came up trying to sell us shirts. They literally just sat down in the sand and talked for like 15 minutes then really turned the pressure on. One had these silly shirts that I sort of liked so I bought 2 and then the 2nd one Sandra was unhappy because I didn't by anything from here and really turned the thumbscrews up. Saying that it wasn't fair and we were making her sad. It took sooooo loooong to get her to go and right after she left, only to come back for one last try later, another girl apparently named Pandra sat down and tried her best. Pandra chatted for a while and we were like we have no money go ask the russians and she said they were bad people and never bought anything. Pandra also took 20 minutes at least just to say we were making her sad before she finally left.

Anyways a few quick hits:
1. the meals were all super forgettable. really all pretty w/e.
2. Our last night was in Margao which is a transport hub for the beach part of Goa. They had cable with a lot of english channels and we got our discovery channel on.
3. On the train to Hampi (where I am now) we had no food besides hobnobs and we ate the whole box. If you're not familiar with hobnobs they are this wonderful british oat biscuit and you really must try them.